catastrophe-wj

2005-06-16T19:07:00.000-07:00

the wabbit and the pigg
i'm in paradise with you

2005-06-16T19:06:00.000-07:00

my sleeping doggie!!
i'm in paradise with you

i love euu~

2005-06-16T18:03:00.000-07:00

met up on tuesday with ben. went to his house. haha. saw his mum for the first time. pretty lady. gosh. she's got a good figure. her legs are same size as mine. omgg. i hope when i'm her age i'm that hot still. weet! =x anyway. then saw his erm god dad's son. quite a cute chubby boy. waha. watched movie here and there. then waited for him to bath. then we went to town to catch a movie. plaza singapura. mr and mrs smith. kinda funny. but think abt it, its retarded. husband and wife killing each other. sm. =x rite. then rushed down to the trinity church at tamp. was late. opps. then we had mass. mmm.. the mood was kinda low then.. oh well.. then me, ben, samuel, zach( i think), rayner went to play pool at TM. then spencer came. then... we took bus 72. was suppose to go to ben's place but it was late so i headed home. he sent me home of cos. lolx. he was afraid to come up cos of muh mum. UH HUH. hahaha.. so cute. we sat at the sofa watching tv for a while. ;) then darlin cabbed home. ((:
wednesday darling came over ta study at bout 11am. haha.. then me, ben and mummy went to town. waha.. mummy was such a silly lady. chatted abt her experiences etc. :) darling was kinda amused. waha. we walked around.. collecting the bracelt.. buying da beads.. shopped at cold storage.. waha.. then took cab home. oh dear. the stupid taxi women driver. eeks. irritating. haa. then erm.. we went to swim.. mugged a bit in the lounge. went back home ta eat dinner. came down again. realised those stupid management ppl are having meeting. so head back home to mug in the study room. lalala.. shared a matress and studied. doggie kept dozing off. sooo cute. waha. *muacks* mm.. then he contemplated for a very long time to stay over. ahaha.. in the end he did but probably pissed his mother off. bleah. but its ok. i'm here baby. :D haa..! the whole nite we slept together. darn funny. that white cup and spoon. the "it smells ok... NOT." lolx. the tweety 's supper. WAHA. alright. slept at 1+++ 2 am. woke up arnd 9++ to eat breakfast and slack arnd. then darling went home to go to school. yeapp. so here i am after taking a nap and mugging a bit. weeet. :)

*[[i pray to god that the johns will get to know each other in heaven. and make frens. aha. we'll be blessed for loving one another]]
_when we go up someday, my dad and ure dad will be feasting together. ain't that cool? wee! haha.._
i love you, ben.
i want to be yours now and forever. ever and ever..
sounds hard and impossible. but yea, we'll overcome all the problems together.
i'll be ure little rabbit till i'm dead. ( not eaten by a dog pls. thanks. :D )

you love me ; i love you.
//the pig.dog.bear and the wabbit rabbit//

2005-06-16T17:37:00.000-07:00

muh darling and me
i'm in paradise with you

2005-06-13T17:35:00.000-07:00

me!

2005-06-13T12:00:00.000-07:00

************************************************************************************************
I'm here helplessly in love and nothing can stop me
you can't stop me
once I started you can't return me
once you bought it
I come and baby don't got it
I come and baby don't got it
so lets be about it
Baby have some trustin' trustin'
when I come wit lustin' lustin'
cuz I bring you dat comfort
I ain't only here cuz I want your body
I want your mind too.
Interesting when I find you
and I'm interested in the long haul
come on boy!
************************************************************************************************
-don't phunk with my heart.

uhh huh..

2005-06-13T11:51:00.000-07:00

I MISS U BEN. lol. really. alottt. zzz.. went to watch phua chu kang musical on saturday. uh huh. its kinda retardted. but well, could see the efforts they put in. not really funny though. =x mmm... ben called me on sat nite from genting while i was thinking of him. so zhun. lol. we chatted then went back to sleep.. then sunday went to church with spencer. then went for post con. then went out with mommy and jie jies to eat. then went home. studied a bit of chem. did an english compre. waha. then slacked and fell asleep. waiting for ben to call. hmm.. then until today morning he still haven call. zz. i smsed him arnd 1 am. haha.. then he called abt 9++ 10 am. aha. chatted again.. until mommy !@#$% then we put down the fone. waha. so here i am now.. slacking. weet. miss muhh darling boy.. >_<

i don't care what others say of you. i believe in you. and i want to trust you. please be my good baby darling doggie ben.. ((: i love you.

2005-06-10T20:24:00.000-07:00

cute darling
my cute darling

2005-06-10T16:22:00.000-07:00

i've been a bad child these few days.. sigghh. all thanks to him. LOL. wednesday went out with corey, herman and frens. asked benjamin and rayner to join us. but they reached there earlier than we did. zzz. lolx. rushed home after school and met them up at marina square. wahh. its so messy. that place. haa.. played pool.. omg. i sucked. lol. really like shit siaaa. eeeee. oh wells. then my third sister came to join me. then me, muh sis, ben rayner, spencer, and ravin ( i think..) to shop. wahaha.. walked around like idiots looking for e-base that shop. it was superr funny. ravin left and the rest of them waited outside e-base. they hid inside a lime green box and called that camping? LOL. wad retards!okies. then they sat by the escalator. came this retarded guy who was playing with some thingy. first ray saw. he laughed. then spencer saw. he laughed. then, ben saw. due to his slow reaction, he paused a while. then he laughed. LOL. then he jumped on the spot laughing like a hyena. then he stepped on my foot. thanks. i was wearing slippers and he was wearing shoes. UH HUHH. Zzz. lol.. retarded. then they went off to get some bike stuff. lert ray with me and my sis. i swear ray is the most talkative guy i've ever known. he can't stop talking for 1 min and he keeps yaking away to distract ppl while they play pool. ( ray : this explains why i lost to u ok! ) we went to sterbucks. sat down and chat. a while. then we took bus 70 to muh house. in the bus we cracked super cold and lame jokes. lmao. managed to convinced ben and spencer to come over to my house by bike. so they came. almost had a problem coming down my house cos of mommy. but i did anyway. haha.. walked ben and spencer to drink at the water cooler. HAHAHA. ben looked like a dog when he drank. i teased him. oh doggie doggie!! LOL. then they went home saying they will come over to swim tmr.. haa..
they came over on thursday. i went to school and tuition before that. waha. we went to swim. i performed magic with the swimming pool stairs. got a water slap by ben. was water raped by him and spencer. uhh huh.. haha.. ray got " bullied " by ben. poor thing. was pretty boring lar huh. bathed. then they came up my place to eat porridge. which apparently.. wasn't filling at all. but i only ate a muffin that whole day, i was full after eating the porridge. lol. then we biked to the kopi tiam outside. UH HUH. thanks spencer. play play play. i got a cut on my right legs while standing on ben's bike. freakk. pain siaa. went to eat. haha.. then i went back home while thay went off to see a haunted house. (childish) and went home. haa. biked back home. got a cut at the same spot when spencer disturbed again. zzzz. walked back to my block. reached home. fell asleep pretty soon. lol.

10.07.05 [[ i swear to you, i will love u till death do us apart. ]]*
miss you and love u my darling doggie ben. pls come back quick. i'll be waiting fer u. waiting fer ure call. thinking of u everyday..

:D

2005-06-07T14:10:00.000-07:00

uhh huh. so here i am again. hahah.. finished a few questions on integration test. i'm dead. i've got no idea how to do. lmao. :/ going out with mommy soon.. to town. so weird. haha.. i wanna find a pair of nike dunks. ((: miss going out with ppl.. ughh.. tmr going ta marina square with muh sis. hope can meet up with corey and peeps to play pool or sth. waha. :D soo boringggg. i hate cannot-go-out-holidays. who likes??!! ugh.. sad. i wann to go out and haf funnn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! okok. i'm a bit hyper. i'm gonna take a rest. then doll up. then *poof* i'm off to town!!!!!!!!!!.... with my mum. :(

i love u. is that ok?
you'll always be my boo..

i'm backkk!!!

2005-06-06T18:17:00.000-07:00

hello! i'm back. hahhha.. but i don't know how long this can last. hurr.. let's see..... i've been an living a crazy life. everyday is so boring. ugh. study. music. slack. eat. bath. rot. com. uh huhhhhhh. nothing else to do. OMG. going mad. one day i'll burst and die. lol. i hate to study.. i dunno why. think i am going crazyy.. this year my O's but i'm still like.. slack. ha. i'm so screwed. bleah. don't ask me wad happen to me and aaron. obviously broke up. ha. i feeel sick and tired of relationships. its just a pack of lies. to i dunno wad. cover up their real flirtiness? hurr. holidays don't feel at all like one. i guess thats howit should be at sec 4. -sighh- and i don't know what i want to do after i graduate. i seriously don't wanna go to JC. but i have no idea what i want to be when i grow up more. so poly isn't a gd choice either cos i dunno which course to go to. =/ went out with spencer tay,his cousin, marie, wilfred, von and samantha ytd. after church. haa. to monster. hmm.. seems like my pool has been maintaining the standards. -phew- but after which, i went home. then i stoned. since then. i decided i need to do sth today. so i tried my best to not think bout any thing and did my social studies workk. haha.. i'm starting to feel sick of my life. its just so plain. makes me feel like spitting it out. haa. zzz.. i really wonder.. if i die today, what will happen? but oh wells. i don't wanna die so fast. hahaha.. i still wanna count my endless blessings.. bleah.. :/

so i pray to u each day and every nite that you'll send that special someone into my world. to fill me with laughter and happiness. to take away the pain and boredom. the tears and lonliness. please do , lord.

i believe that someday, i'll meet you. and we'll be the happiest children of god. spending our times together.. till death do us apart... i dislike flirtts. shoo shoo! don't come near me. haha.. i'm so bored. i'm lame. :/

arsairfhaeakdfs

2005-03-05T22:41:00.000-08:00

haha.. opps. haven't been blogging.. alot of days. :D lazy la. heh. ytd was our one month but we didn't meet up. today neither. sighh. glad i'll be seeong him tmr. miss him much. HE GOT ME A BIGG PIGGIE. ARGH! so cute. ha. mm.. these few dayss pretty stressed up in school.. many times felt like breakking down.. small little remarks. actually, not small. insults i feel.. made by my mother and sister.. make me break down real easily.. bleah. tests tests books books homework homework cca cca church church bible bible comic comic rosary rosary baby baby baby.. bLHAhsashd. ughh. dropping literature. hope i can. cos really, i suck at my english. my lit teacher failed me for an assignment. blah. then i keep thinking and thinking.. last min decide to drop. thought mummy would object. surprisingly she said " up to you lor.. if u think is better this way go ahead" HA. great. siggh. monday math "mini" test on differentiation. tuesday lit test on king of castle chapter 1-5. wednesday chemistry test on electrolysis. tuesday thursday cca. friday. finally. 11 march. can start wearing coloured clothes. *.* wed got cell gp meeting. friday to sunday church camp. WOOTS. busy week. then is hols. then go back skool for cca. got some lit seminar. hurr. then after march hols come back. -------------------------------------------------------die. 30 may 2005 chinese gce o level exams.
hope i can stay alive till the end of this year man. ha.
feel like a doll getting squashed into a tiny box, being chucked away..
papa.. i miss you.. :/
aaron baby.. i miss you too..
mummy.. when can u stop being so insensitive to me? and everyone else? u get hurt. so do we.
my dearest lord, i just pray to you to make me feel happy everyday. thats all i want. ((:

twelfth day.. ((:

2005-02-15T12:01:00.000-08:00

words are just not enough to tell you how much u mean in my heart now..
mmm.. didn't go to school todayy. haha.. was feeling sick. and didn't feel like going too. :x went out with baby to celebrate valentine's day. heh. chatted with baby on the fone for a while on the way home. was hoping to see him at the bus stop.. but he wasn't there. then was hoping to see him at my block.. but he wasn't there neither. kinda disappointed but thought its ok since i'll be seeing him later anyway. :D so went home. walked to my bed room. !!!! saw a heart shape pillow! HA. with microbeads. just the one i wanted since dunno how long ago. ((: and there was a heart shape box ferrero chocolates. haha.. *touched* well.. i was happy of cos. then was talking to my mummy. asking her when he came up and stuff. then was about to bath. opened my cupboard. -SCREAMS- !!! hahahh... saw a bouquet of PURPLE ROSES. OMG! he's so so so sweet! *jumps around* XXXxxxxxXxXX hehehe..i was so happy. lost for words. then my mummy was saying "he told me not to say. he said auntie cannot tell her ar.." lol.. so cute rite. hah. then went to bath and change. baby came up. took a long time to leave the house. cos i insisted on puting my pore pack and paint my toe nails. HAHA. ate my lunch then after a while left the house. heading to east coast beach. hmm.. felt sick on the long bus journey. but oh wells.. if it makes him happy to go down to the beach, its worth it. ((: walked along the shores.. picked up sea shells. haha.. felt like when i was a little girl.. picking up shells showing to my mummy and daddy.. missed those times.. sat down chatted and ................... :D yeap. went to eat at a kopitiam. ahas. so budget rite. haha.. then went to take bus 13. Great. took the wrong side. ended up near tampanies. a very familiar place. really familiar. thoughts and memories came gushing to my mind.. i knew there was something left behind not dealed with in the life i had for the last few months in 2004. me and baby decided to take a taxi to my house. wanted to go ang mo kio to play pool but dropped the idea. in the cab.. we chatted a bit.. some nice conversations.. and i teared. after such a long week.. guess it takes time to forget someone.. looking at him beside me, i felt a sudden urge of happiness and thankfulness. hugged him tight and told him i really feel very happy that i have you. :)) reached home. baby tried effortlessly to ask his mother for permission to stay over. alright. what a pathetic boy but its ok. he's got me. HA. =x mmm.. then went up.. was pissed off with my sister and mother. baby felt helpless looking at me angry and upset. but everything was fine later on.. :D sat on the sofa with baby and.................................. spend some unforgettable moments. lolx. then baby went home taking a cab.. -smiles- gave baby the big chocolate i made for him. hope he likes it. hee.
thank you baby.. my darling aaron baby.. really don't know what will i be now without you in my life..thanks for being in my life.. i love you, aaron.

sixth dayy. ((:

2005-02-09T20:54:00.000-08:00

babyy~~ hahah... went out with baby yesterdayy. hee. shop fer his clothes. wee. i got such good taste. he look great. :D choose his hair colour. gawddd. he look gorgeous. HA! xD mmm.. the day before he came over.. haha.. mommy had a pretty good impression of him. yeah!!! =xx he tried to teach me math but to no avail. *coughs* well.. yup. crazy baby. will remember the times we had..
WELL! tmr gonna go out with baby again! hee. can't wait ta see him. ohoh. and valentine's day coming toos. ha. can't wait ta be surprised by him. lolx. :x gonna swim tmr in my new swim suit! hehe.. and play pool for the first time with baby.. hehe.. alrights. may all my friends be blessed by god this new year.. take care all!! health is wealth! :o hahah..
i love you baby!
wanna be like this forever..
won't stop loving you..*muah~

third day!!

2005-02-06T21:11:00.000-08:00

ahas.. so happy todayy! went ta spencebob's church with my baby. so funn!! i like it there. ((: bob's such a retarded boy! can't help luffing at him and his funny or shud i say weird actions?oh ya! saw zhang lao shi in church and lala too!!!! ha. baby was being such a sweet thing today. :D feel so in love with him. hehe.. after church we went to town to find my slippers.took neoprint with baby. darn. i look so awful in it. but baby looks as good as he always is. those cute eyes and pretty nose! gawd!! the very first thing of him that took my breath away. HA. gonna sleep with the picture tonite! WEE! :D yay! had a hard time thinking of you yesterday baby...! heex.. baby got me a skirt. ok. a bit out of point.but anyway, hahahah!! its nice! i love itt. HEE. then walked to heeren to get my slippers. realised i was too busy on friday with my baby i forgot to buy matong's cd! and even used up the money! omg. how forgetful can i get. but anyway, got her cd today. ahaha. bleah. borrowed money from baby to get muh slippers and the cd. oh wells. will return him. :) sorry baby for spending ure money todayy. i feel evil doing so. =( anyway!! i gave baby a box of present. ha, a nice handkerchief with "i love aaron" on it. and a heart and paper heart and his ring which he wore back. oh wells.. hehe.. then went to his place to wait for him to get his stuff for work. then send him to his work place. then went home. :/
every step i took home, i miss you even more than words could describe..love my baby so much..
oh well.. gonna see him tmr again! yay! hehe..his gonna teach me math! that smart ass baby..! hehe..then i will go over to his place after skool before he comes over to mine to be my tutor and let my mummy judge him. hurr!!
i miss you so much baby.. i really do love you.. no matter what it takes.. how hard our path's gonna be, i promise you i'll walk with you, hand in hand, never letting go. i'll lock ure heart with mine and throw away the key. ((: baby baby baby.. i love you so much and i'm sure you know.. hee.. :D

first day..

2005-02-04T23:55:00.000-08:00

i didn't believe in love at first sight. till i met you...
i love you, baby aaron. ((: *smiles sweetly*
absolutely crazy day today.. but i can't be any happier than i am now.. xD
god created us on the seventh day. i was part of you. just like Eve was part of Adam. And ure a part in my life, now that i've fallen for you..
hope you'll be the one for me and keep the promises you gave..

EEeeee!

2005-02-02T16:59:00.000-08:00

was surfing around on friendster as i was too bored. and guess wad. I SAW SO MANY CHIO BUs! then i realise.. how ugly i am. SAD!!! :/ my eyes are not big my nose is ugly and my mouth is nothing special. darn! lolx. alright. enough of insulting myself. okays. let's see. hmm.. was a draggy day today. super duper boring. bleahs. again. thought too much. ha. cried "public-ly" lol. then something else quite embarrassing happened. shan't say it. ma lu ma lu. somemore his with the girl probably.zzz. okays. well. sleepy day today. ^-^ shall get a nice sleep and well.. if i do wake up.. haha.. i'll blog again. :D good nite all! *sings off*

lalala!!!!

2005-02-01T23:11:00.000-08:00

hahahahahaha... enjoyed myself todayy. :)) after skool had LD. went to get comics in between. always remember myself getting comics to read when i'm single.. hoping that someone will be as good as the guys i read about and hoping my next love will last as happily. well.. i'll hope so.. anyway, went out with spencebob and his fren martin. woah! lolx. waited for this 2 prince for bout half an hour. =_= then walked around far east to search for my nike dunk. ayy.. all look so boyish. then i saw alvin!! AGAIN.hahaha.. saw him at queenstown the other day! so funny. he's so cute. =xxxx remind me of amos. ha! :X neewayy.. then walked around and watch spencebob and martin eat. then... i bought fruit punch ta drink. then anthea joined us later for a while when we went to play pool at monsterr. hurr. spencebob was being an ass todayy. haha.. so retarded! finally found someone as retarded as isaac. LOL!!!!! martin's a good player. heh. admire some of his nice nice shots. WOOTS! ^-^ but i did won him. HEHEH... pooled until 9++ then went to take mrt. ha! made spencebob provide me with cab fare. :D *beams* then reach serangoon mrt station.. took cab home while spencebob went home. yeapp. so now i'm home. HA. so tired. martin was walking like a train. zzz. and so was that retarded bob. x_x muhhh legs are aching!!! hahah... so tired.. sleepyy.. :/ spencebob was saying that valentine's coming. sigh. so sad la. i'll be alone.. bleah. haaha.. then he was telling me join isaac with his girl then i'll stop them kissing hugging. LMAO! funny. hehe.. then i was joking that i will ......... hahha... shall be keep between me and those who heard. HA. yup yup. on the way home in the cab.. saw couples kissing.. hmm.. in town saw couples holding hands..
i blame myself for bringing up the break up. i know u were wrong later to cheat me as what everyone says. but i told myself i'll forgive you just to let u love me again.. i wish i could turn back time. so we'll still be together.. but yeah. i know. time can't turn back anymore.. was imagining myself seeing him on valentine's day with a girl. was looking at couples lovey dovey-ing.. my heart throb hard and fast. pushing tears to my eyes.. once again.. sometimes i think and i agree with what my friends say. you're not worth my tears. not worth my love. but somehow i'm just not listening to them.. i just feel i can't do it..
but yeah!! i know spencebob!! i must be strong! try! try! try! no matter how hard it takes. how much tears it will caused. how much pain i will have. how badly my heart will ache..i'll try. i'll try to be strong. :)) thanks bob for ure advices and words of encouragement! haha.. "love" you! :D
OH YEA!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY KIMMIE MY SWEET LIL SISTER!!! *HUGGS TITE* love you load load! MUACKS!

once again.. my tears kept flowing..

2005-01-31T22:03:00.000-08:00

Everybody's got something they had to leave behind
One regret from yesterday that just seems to grow with time
There's no use looking back or wondering
How it could be now or might have been
All this I know but still I can't find ways to let you go
I never had a dream come true
Till the day that I found you
Even though I pretend that I've moved on
You'll always be my baby
I never found the words to say
You're the one I think about each day
And I know no matter where life takes me to
A part of me will always be with you
Somewhere in my memory
I've lost all sense of time
And tomorrow can never be cos yesterday is all that fills my mind
There's no use looking back or wondering
How it should be now or might have been
Oh this I know but still I can't find ways to let you go
I never had a dream come true
Till the day that I found you
Even though I pretend that I've moved on
You'll always be my baby
I never found the words to say
You're the one I think about each day
And I know no matter where life takes me to
A part of me will always be
You'll always be the dream that fills my head
Yes you will, say you will, you know you will oh baby
You'll always be the one I know I'll never forget
There's no use looking back or wondering
Because love is a strange and funny thing
No matter how I try and I try
I just can't say goodbye
no no no no
I never had a dream come true
Till the day that I found you
Even though I pretend that I've moved on
You'll always be my baby
I never found the words to say
You're the one I think about each day
And I know no matter where life takes me to
A part of me will always be
with you

ah ah ah ah ah!!

2005-01-30T17:19:00.000-08:00

lolx. had been going around the world a little these few days. and worst still i need to mug. tmr and the day after have 3 tests!! how bad is that? x_x oh yeah. i might be going to lameo's church coming sunday. hey no. spence bob. lol. can't wait to study bible and get baptised! =x
had been dreaming of you alot.. why? i don't understand.. broke my heat once more each time i woke up dreaming about you.. they weren't dreams. they are my nightmares.. you're my nightmare? *shrugs*
tried to imagine kissing ure lips but just felt.. eee. cos u have tasted another girl's. not like we'll have a chance anymore like you've said. i feel like i'm stuck in the middle of a forest. wanting to find you but when i did i found u holding someone else in your arms. but now i sit beside where the both of u are standing, waiting. hoping one day you'll walk towards me and hug me instead. am i stupid?
maybe i'm just waiting for something that is not going to happen.
just a little news to all. i would most probably 90% ha. be going to america to study by the end o this year. aren't u all gonna miss me so much? yay. =x
if we get back, will i be around for long with you? i wish you would appreciate me now before i leave here. at least let me be with u once more before i go. but when the heart's gone its gone. yes i know. i'll try my best to get it back by silently waiting cos i know, i've tried every other method before to hold it back but still it flew away. maybe except suiciding. if i had done so i won't be here. :x

:/

2005-01-28T14:50:00.000-08:00

some shit problem with my internet. zzz. always so much problem. sighh. went out yesterday. with isaac. after skool, rushed home. bath then left muh house. was a little hungry. x_x met him at tampanies. holding on to the box which held the hearts we folded last time. was wearing a little like minah ytd. quite a number of malays were looking at me before that ass came. he's late. hurr. guess i appeared weird to him with my hair cut short. ha. then went to walk around and find kimmie's present. hmm.. then wanted to eat at the food court. he was on the fone with his gd fren and he said" ya, so boring". well, obiously implying its bored with me. so i told him to go off if he feels bored. but he says his frens are still home and he got no money. so wadever, we ate. chatted a little. (think that was the only nice moment i had the whole of yesterday) ha. then we went to see vcds which i intended to get for my sister. then his frens came. went to play pool. uhh. dunno why he kept poking, whacking and hitting me. abusive. zzz. i felt so pissed. then when playing pool i showed him attitude again. i apologised to him. then he copied my line " i'm used to it. " =_= aiight. he says his single still. hurr. ok. i just feel. sympathetic. then played our last game. he asked me to cab home. cos he isn't sending me home. but yea, why shud he. even if i get raped or wadever, it doesn't concern him. does it? its not me he cares. he went to meet some girl while i took a cab home. in the cab, i felt like shit. actually the whole of yesterday was pretty fine. like one of the days we had when we were together. except there was no holding hands, no hugs, no kisses and no sending home. and of cos, no i love u. as i thought, great. tears came rushing to my eyes. after i reached home, i was so tired. i bath and went to bed. though i did try to read a bit of my physics text.today. oh man. i only read half a chapter out of 5 chapters i have. darnn. had test in the morning. think i will flunk. DUH. zzz. after skool.. went to meet richmond to eat. ha. then met tim, brendan and teck yong. later eugene came. wanted to play pool with them but i decided i need to study my chemistry and do well!! or i'll flunk another test. zzz. hmm. then here i am. ha. read the tag by anony. yea. i was thinking. if i do. wad will he say? no. told u, we won't be back again. haha.. i smsed him but as it seems, he have yet to reply. perhaps he don't wanna reply. fear. i fear. i fear to tell him i want him back. i fear for his answer. i fear. fear.i can't be selfish. what about the girl his "with" now? she likes him. he likes her. where do i stand? no where i can feel.i choose to believe he still feels for me but he don't want to admit cos he don't wanna be hurt again. he just want to find another girl to be with. and since he started, he felt being single is good. cos he can do whatever he wants. flirt whoever he likes. maybe i have put you in a cage. locked u inside. until the day u came out, u don't wanna return. maybe, maybe. i should have love u so much. maybe, i should have never get near you. maybe, maybe. its just fate. we're not meant to be.sometimes, i walk in the rain. to count the raindrops. and believe this was how much u once loved me. sometimes, i look at the moon and smile cos i know somewhere out there, u can see the moon i see too. sometimes, i cry in the rain so no one would see my tears.sometimes, i can't help but to whisper i love you still..
5.23pm 18.01.05

ok. anyway. i got the answer as a no. ha. could not put in my entry the last time and lots of things had been happening. so yup. here i am. back again. :))

a big big thanks to all my friends who smsed me and came for my dad's wake. i really appreciate your visit and words of comfort. :D i love all of you. please take care! ha.

`i was disappointed you did not keep ure promise but i know, i know, i'm not as important.
*thanks for the lovely hugs all of you gave me..
*thanks for that kiss which make me can't sleep too, zac. =_=
*i've lost the two man(maybe one is considered a boy) i love most within three months.. i don't wanna lose anyone anymore. friends, my friends, stay as my friends and i promise i'll be your side. (:
--i'm keeping my promise which you might have forgotten.. i'll wait, i will, till the end of this year.. for you.
i love u, papa.. please be happy up there in heaven and watch over us, ure family and my friends too.. keep them in good health and feel happy everyday..

OMG.

2005-01-15T15:11:00.000-08:00

:D ayy. haven been updating cos my stupid com's got prob. alrights. briefly let me round up wads been happening. hmm.. on friday.. went out with alex to play pool.. then went back to skool to meet lameo at a void deck? lol. jill trish were there too. hmm. was feeling shy. HURR. then they left and i was with lameo alone. for the first time. ha. weirrd. but anyways, yeah. so we decided to play pool. darn. again. POOL. zzz. yeah. but lameo's much challenging. =x hahhaa.. hmm.. then after a sometime lameo's fren came. then we went off to eat at macs. OMG. WHY MACS. sigh. saw my manager there. haha. wadever. yea. then ate. oh. jill came. yes. ahah.. chatted with her. but i regretted cos i shud not have said some stuff. sorry to those who were dragged down for this. really sorry. shud have just kept my mouth shut. then later on, jill went to meet her sis in a cab while the rest of us took another cab. lameo suggested to get me home first. AHA. but i was thinking of spending more time with him. ha. and go to the church to pray fer dad. bleahs. but oh wells. i went home anyway. yupp. was quite alright the whole day. but i felt so bad to leave alex on his own. =/ sorry boy.. okayS! then sat. yes. went to hospital. cos daddy is in there. stayed there for some time reading king of the castle. hahha. yes. then erm, went to call peeps to go down town to search for muh new fone model. HURR. well. in the end my beloved jie yingg went with me. *muacks* i love u. ha. met emi up first cos ying haven reach yet. ahha. met her frens too. i thot ammanda's a pretty girl. ha. =x and so is cat and emi duh! but not me. bleah. oh yes. all the couples. and i felt extra. ha. sigghh. then ying came so went to meet her up. heh. walked around. nothing much. ahha. i sms zac to ask if his in town. so i'll avoid where he is. ha. then i sms lameo. so cute. i ask him if he's in town but he replied "how u know?" so silly. okies. so i went to find him at cyber dome. and yes. its DOME. not DONE. ahhah. dumb lameo. :p felt so retarded. i went in saw his face then came out. HA. SO LAME. Eeeek. stupid stupid!!! bleah. hahahha. then me and ying bought drinks then slacked. called shermiee. aha. made him walk from cine to meridian to find us. eeks. if i knew he's with a girl i would not have done so. ha. so anyway he came and we said a couple of sentence then took bus home. lolx. ying was so scared she's gonna miss her bus. aiights. but she did not. yeapp. yay. reached home later then bath and slept. ha. :D oh ya. went to this place called the dodo club at cine. wow. i like the cosmetics there!! do go there and see. hehehe.. quite cheap. yups.
today morning woke up. layed on my bed. haha.. then i cried. bleah. wad a way to start off my day. but yeah. tears flowed. i realised i still do miss him. i hate to admit. but i know i do. i don't know why. i just can't accept the fact that he's not mine anymore. its been 2 months. i just want to forget him.. i feel so irritated. i simply can't. what's wrong. what's with me.
i fear to fall for him.. cos i know of many other girls who had. and comparing myself to them. i'm nothing. i don't have the looks. neither the character. nor anything special. i know i shud not think this way. but its a fact. and i'm scared. he can't give me what i want to forget that person. cos he probably don't feel for me.
i thot i could be strong and forget. but as i type these words. i know in my heart. i miss him. but look at him. he can smile and hold another girl's hands. where am i in his heart. no where i can see.
`heal my heart if you would. take the pain away from me. make me smile.

hahahahaa...

2005-01-12T20:18:00.000-08:00

ha.. today so fun.. during PE i was exceptionally enthu trying to get my team mates move their butts. haha.. yay. a bit mad today. hurr. was toking to wini and zhu zhu in canteen bout lameo. then jillian walked past and chatted bout him too. aiyoo. haha.. was smsing him too. hmm.. then then.. after skool.. ahha... wendy! she came to my house to study. aha. but like expected. we weren't really studying. :x oh wells. but i did some chem homework k. lolx. and smsing lame-o. ha! aiights. i'm soo tired now. i wanna sleep. hurr. i think i'm starting to sleep like every day 12 hours.. ahahah.. resembles someone. lolx. oh wells. piggy time! HAHAH..
i wanna know u better.. please don't be afraid to get to know me.. maybe the way i approach frightens u.. but.. EH! U ARE A GUY LEH. lolx. =x it takes courage to send u every sms with words i hope to impress u with. ahah. please don't say u don't wanna know me well.. ((:
i'm falling for you.. for some lame reason.. hahaha...!!!

2005-01-11T20:12:00.000-08:00

while walking back home today, i saw small yellow flowers which fall from the tree. the green grass surrounding were for once scattered with yellow. i don't know how to describe but.. it was such a beautiful sight. it wasn't some magnificent scene at the nigara falls but it was, it is beautiful. have u looked wads around u and find them especially pretty? i felt so happy cos i can see. these beautiful colours. and i'm glad i manage to get out from my mommy's tummy though she wanted to get rid of me when i was a baby. i think i came to earth for a purpose. i dunno wad issit yet. so meanwhile, i'm gonna stay happy. and make all those around me happy too. aha. :D

YAY! weird dayy.

2005-01-11T19:55:00.000-08:00

aha. the audition was like finally over. it wasn't as scary. hurr. quite alright actually. but i didn't think i did my best so.. dun think i'll get in. ha. anyway.. let's start from today morning.. i went to skool.. saw yang ling.. aha.. chatted a bit with her.. nearly tripped. for some weird reason. ha. then reached class. aww. my poor zhu zhu must be really sick. she's not in skool today. sighh. then i accompany marian and wini to canteen. hurr. then walk to assemble at the field. wadda hell. mrs chong caught me and marian for our belts. ha. my first time. then she took oure name tags. and asked us to collect it from her. zzz. after assembly went back to class. lit lesson slacked a bit and i was trying to sew my belt. ha. english lesson. i was attentive but i didn't do my summary. so scared the teacher will nag. ha. luckily she skipped me. MOOHAHA.. then i was so nice. i filled her in for her vocab words. HURR. i so smart. LOL. okies. lame. ALL LAMEO'S FAULT. AFFECTED ME. hahaha. stupid lameo. aha. he's so farnie. aights. then chinese lesson wrote compo. again, i was being good. ha. then diana helped me to sew my belt. THANKS GURL! :D then recess went to find mrs chong(my skool vp). then..... she wasn't there. x_x so we were told to come bak later. uh huh. zzz. so when we return later, we had to wait for her to come back. so so, when she came she was like.. oh.. good.. ure belts are at the right place.. haha.. then she returned our name tags. THEN. SOMETHING WEIRD HAPPEN AGAIN. she says she would like to tok to me. i got a fright. marian went out. oh great i thought. hah. then she said... hows ure dad? i was like.. HUH? how did u know? lol. chey. i think she heard from my form teacher veronica bout it. zzz. so anyway, she was very nice la.. she comforted me. i almost felt like tearing. ayy. but i told myself to stay strong.and yes.ha. i went back to class after which. yupp. then after skool.. went to the weird place for audition. looke weird and freaky. a bit. saw some channel u actress there. her car is so nice man! silver and small. cool. ha. then went in filled up some form then practise the lines given went for audition. then yup. went home with yan han, gen and stef. hmm. stef dropped at town to cut hair while the rest of us headed home. hahah...when i got home, i went to peep at his blog. surprise surprise! i read bout him saying bout he and val. and i didn't tear. not at all. not even y heart was palpitating hard and loud. i was just reading it like reading story book. OMGGGGG. i'm so happy can! ha. i think i'm getting over him fast. yay. :)
i wan to stay happy each day without u still.. and i am.. i wonder the same question my frens asked me before.. why can't u stay single? u can't live without a stead? haha.. maybe i can. just that i dun try. :D
let me tell all u reading my blog a secret. ha. the next guy who i fall for and likes me back.. is gonna be the luckiest guy. cos i promise myself, i'll give him my ALL. this also means.. i'll take a long time to pick the one i wan and get to know him for at least a month before getting on with him. Haaaaaaa. are u proud of me joseph? look at me now! not the same old one u know! yay. i'm gonna call u soon jo. and tell u this secret too. ha. then u'll be so happy for me. thanks for ure words the other nite i chatted with u brother joseph! HEE.
i'm happy today! aren't u happy for me? :D

2005-01-10T19:48:00.000-08:00

"Never look back," we said
how was I to know I'd miss you so?
Loneliness up ahead,emptiness behind
Where do I go?
And you didn't hear
all my joy through my tears
all my hopes through my fears
did you know, still I miss you somehow?
From the bottom of my broken heart
there's just a thing or two I'd like you to know
you were my first love,you were my true love
from the first kisses to the very last rose
from the bottom of my broken heart
even through time may find me somebody new
you were my real love
I never knew love
'til there was you
from the bottom of my broken heart
"Baby," I said,
"please stay.
Give our love a chance for one more day"
we could have worked things out
taking time is what love's all about
But you put a dartthrough my dreams
through my heart
and I'm back where I started again
never thought it would end
You promised yourself
but to somebody else
and you made it so perfectly clear
still I wish you were here..

=D

2005-01-10T19:33:00.000-08:00

hey! ha. =) i feel happy today.. or shud i say less upset? hehe.. anyway, today was just a normal day in skool but poor wendy and ammanda are not feeling well.. >_< hope they are feeling better.. i hate being sick.. -shrugs- yupps. okies. went out with wenns, wini and zhu zhu today. hurr! went to j8 at first then bought my pooh bear head. AHH. so cute. i can't stand it. i love that handphone thing so much. hee. then i went to far east with wini and zhu zhu while wenns went home.. went pointers to cut hair luh. AIYOOO. zhu zhu say i look ah lian. SOBS. wini says its ok. hehe.. then wini cut her hair toos. trim actually. ha. then went home.. took bus 162 with wini.. chatted with her on the bus.. nice conversation dere.. thanks alot wini.. *huggs* yeah. then wini took her bus home so did i.. hehe.. on the way home.. walked past the playground.. saw eugene and peeps there... ah ha! eugene said my hair was not bad.. YAY! but later when my sister came back home she said i look weird. bleahs. i think so too. ha. but my mummy didn't realise i cut my hair lar. like how observant she is? =_= blah. neways.. think i'm feeling much better today.. :) all thanks to my beloved sisters in skool. LOL. okies. gotta do sth bout my hair and do my homework! my social studies hols assignment! i'm so gonna die!! -squeaks- oh yea. i think i look like primary skool kid with my hair? -squeals- oh. poor zhu zhu is having fever. hope she's gonna be fine by tmr so i can see her in skool! yeap. take care all! -smiles- thanks boo for ure tag but pls tell me who u are? :D
hope i'll always stay happy like today.. i think i'm getting over him.. thats a good thing i guess.. i hope.. if we're meant to be together, god will make us be together again.. i hope my fate with u will continue..
thanks alot wini.. for those encouraging words.. u make me feel that i'm just as normal as anyone else.. but i'm special in my own way.. ya noe.. haha.. really thankful to have a friend like you.. *smiles*
i love to smile and be myself.. i feel so proud of u zac! cos u made me change.. though not when we're together.. but u did! i swear. u did. u fulfilled ure promise. ure purpose of being in my life.. and i'm thankful to have u in my life.. really.. :)
i'll learn to forget you, my guardian angel..

09

2005-01-09T20:36:00.000-08:00

nothing much happened today.. tried to study.. hurr. like completed only a small section of chapter 8 in the chemistry text. great. then mummy made me feel so guilty i dragged muhself out with her to get the groceries. bleah. back home just. gonna rest. feel tired. well, i always do. hehe..
just when i wasn't thinking of you trying to put all my thought on my studies, u called. i beg you, move on with ure life and be happy. i'm not enjoying getting hurt inside. :/
i need someone out there in this world to take away my pain. please,someone do help me..
i'll learn to forget you..

2005-01-09T17:24:00.000-08:00

now his happy.. thats great.. but i just can't describe how much it still hurts inside. i feel so useless. i fucking hate my life. and i really hate myself. dumb fuck. thats me.
live ure life happy. good luck to the both of you.
tears keep flowing.. i really want to stop them..someone help me please.

2005-01-09T04:52:00.000-08:00

my last words for him.. i hope u know who u are.. =)
click it

:/

2005-01-08T19:21:00.000-08:00

went to relative's place.. stayed for a little while only.. was smsing richmond at dere.. he need ear sticks. zzz.. so after i reached home i passed the ear stick to him.. was smsing with ayu in skool today.. glad he was there to chat with when i'm feeling low.. thanks ayu.. piggy emi.. sms her call her nvr pick up or reply luhh. so nice luhh. *hmph* then i was lying on my bed.. feeling extremely bored.. hurr. wanted to dleep.. but just can't. sigh. then i called amos. left him a testimonial earlier on. shud have sought his advice. but everything's too late. i've fallen in to a valley and theres so many ppl in there. i wanna climb out. but its so hard. and i dun even feel like trying to. cos i want to stay there by his side. but yea. wadever. he's too busy with the other ppl inside. i'm just left alone. in a corner by myself. anyway, amos was out with his frens so gotta put down. then i was looking at my phone list. aha! saw -sherman- haha.. i realise i miss him alot man.. haven been smsing or calling him.. my dear dear sweet spermy. such a sweet thing. hehe.. he sms me after i call him to tell him i miss him. hahaha.. i feel so loved. hurr. =) yeapyeap. just felt like blogging. cos i'm so bored. ha. bleah. okies. shall stop. :D
now you're living with happiness everyday.. i feel happy for you.. but i realise i live in bitterness each day and only to find myself faking the friendliness and happiness just to make others smile.i wish to fall in love with another..
i beg you. stop torturing me. i really wan to just forget ure existence. you don't know how much it hurts inside. or perhaps i shud say.. why would you even care to know..?
you don't need to be my pooh. u need to be hers.
i'll learn to forget you..

moohaha..

2005-01-08T13:56:00.000-08:00

haha.. yes yes.. just came back from cca fair.. xD woke up at 6am today.. then went to look at his blog.. then i felt so upset. bleah. dunno wad got over me. i wanted to cry again. lol. then went to skool for cca. thot i was late. but i was pretty early. reached there arnd 7.10 when its suppose to start at 7 la. x_x saw alot of ppl!!! saw my seniors!! saw ade and muthu!! HEE. all so pretty now. haha.. :D saw a girl from my skool bus last time too.. hahas.. she still look the same. but grown taller. hah. then we xchanged numbers. hahas.. very cute and sweet girl. ^-^ hmm.. then got the forms.. i called the person in charge.. bleah..this tuesday 4pm for me. -shurgs- i'm quite worried.. cos its like open to the public too..! bleah. so its narrowing my chance of getting in. hurr. but oh wells.. try.. i guess.. =) okies! shall update again! eating now.. gonna bath later to go my relative's house warming. hurr. :)
at least i know i've tried.. i won't feel that upset..
the feelings are still there though.. i don't know how to get them away.. i'm just so lost..like an ant in a forest. haha.. got me thinking.. bout wad he said.. like an ant can't live without food. lomantic hor? so lame. HURR. :p
you'll always be my pooh..

ah ha!

2005-01-07T21:25:00.000-08:00

oooo weee..! went ta eat at opp. novena church. so nice the food! >.< hurr.. yummy.. nothing much today la.. i went to hospital after skool to see papa.. then went to eat.. then went home. lol. tmr got cca fair.. aiyoo.. need to wake up at 7am la. not a bit early la. x_x so i'm going to sleep now.. haha.. cos i slept late yesterday nite.. oh. ytd nite i went to clement's house to do my homework.. eugene and richmond were around too.. aha.. yeap. ok. gonna catch some sleep now.. :p
there's always that one person who will always have your heart...
you'll always be my pooh..
i love you!

2005-01-07T21:18:00.000-08:00

ugly me and hubby.
click it

((:

2005-01-07T13:46:00.000-08:00

yay. in skool. having mr tan's lesson. math again. :D thats why i can blog. hurr. yeap. today was a normal dayy? lol. i feel so much cheerful these few days and i'm starting to move my hands and brains slowly, doing my work. aha. yeahh. i love all muh frens.. they are the best things that occured to me. my family too. heex. >_< called emi today during recess. hee.. she's happy..good thing fer her. ammanda showed me her clothes today and i showed her mine toos. aha. my new year clothes.. wee.. zhu zhu zhu zhu zhu zhu zhu zhu zhu. aha. I GOT A VERY CUTE FILE not a A FEW CUTE FILES yesterdayy. got a pig one. and it says my cute pig baby.. so nicee. i brought it to skool today. muaha. i love pigs. so cute. hehe. remind me of many ppl. eg.isaac HURR. :p emi toos. sleep so much. hehehehe. :D noel added me on frenster ahhas.. erm. okays. out of point. yes yes. told wini and ammanda my deepest secrets! OMG! now i'm in danger. lolxx. later might be going to eat chicken rice with muh mummy papa and sisters. hehehe.. and there is cca fair tomorrow. gotta wake up at 7am?! zzz. oh wells.. i'm gonna sit at the table and give out souvenirs. MUAHAHA.. so fun. no more basking fer me! YEY! yup yup. thanks muh juniors for going out with me after cca yesterday. so sweet of u two. hehe.. they got the same file as me! hey! -pouts- lol. okies. will update again! take care all! =)
thanks alot zac. i dunno why i'm thanking u but i just feel like. i feel i'm so much happier everytime becos of you..
thanks alot my friends too.. u people are often around to cheer me up and make me smile..
thanks mummy.. thanks papa.. thanks da jie. thanks er jie. thanks keng keng. thanks shann. for always being in the house and causing so much trouble. LOL. i mean fun. :D
i may not always say it.. but u know now, i do love all of u.. my life without you all i won't be me. ;)
you'll always be my pooh..

opps

2005-01-06T08:42:00.000-08:00

OPPS. i missed out something! Guo Hao! can u pleaase pleaasse find time to take back ure jacket??? its been on my bed rotting for err.. weeks? LOL. i dun smell it anymore. think it'll stink. Hurr. =x

get out

2005-01-06T08:30:00.000-08:00

hahaas.. i'm in school NOW. lol. having math lesson like again? lol.. yeap yeap. so bored. so i blog. woots. rhyme. hehe.. okies.. yea. nothing much happen today. slept in class. was sleepy. then came up to the computer lab.. yea.. went to read isaac's blog. val's so hot. lol. -shrugs- i'm feeling so queasy. over reactive. too sensitive. oh wells. today morning i was feeling cheery. cos i thot i feel i'm starting to dislike him. yeap yeap. i guess i am. so i'll forget him real soon. and wens was telling me i think he's making use of u to know more bout her. then i was like, yea, maybe. but if thats wad he wants i'll give it to him. ^-^ i already said wad i have to say. i tried. and if i failed i move on. isn't it? hahas.. i don't wanna be something u can make fun of or something who is dying for ure love. cos one thing i know now, u are still like u started off. i think i am such a flirt. so are u. stop saying i'm childish when u are the one who is. grow up big boy. stop falling for ppl's looks. thats not the way to love someone. sorry for saying all these. just that i'm feeling so pent up inside. sorry again. at least i feel bad. for doing things to you. do you? it doesn't matter anymore yea? haha. darn. i think i'm really starting to dislike u alot! sheesh. i use to want to see u and give u a hug and never let go. now i think i rather see u and give u a tight slap to wake u up. go ahead and hate me. cos i hate u too. lol. ok. i'm mad. i'm hating someone i love so much in the past i was willing to die for him. great. madness overcoming me. okok. enough said. yes yess. today got cca. kinda feel cca is getting sucky. cos i didn't go for syf auditions and i'm not in syf , obviously. and i'm sec 4 so i'm not gonna have any activities for the rest of the year. doesn't that suck? ok. maybe not. wadeverrr. yeap. i think i'm such a contradicting person. one part of me is i hate him. he simply sucks. but the other side of me is i really wanna be back with him and keep the promise i gave him that his first did not fulfill and change myself for him. but then i ask myself again, does he care anymore? NO? he just wants me to fuck off his life. i took a knife to cut myself. do u care? why will you care? i don't matter to u anymore isn't it? whats wrong with me? just what the fuck is wrong with me? why can't i just hate him and get over him? i really can't stand myself. i really just hate myself. I HATE U FOR MAKING ME LOVE U SO MUCH. I HATE MYSELF FOR LOVING U SO MUCH. I'M GOING CRAZY SOON. u may just see me on newspapaer soon. 16 year old suicides over ex boyfriend? hurr. nah. not gonna die so soon. at least i'll complete my studies. be with my parents till they leave this world. meanwhile, if there's anyone who can love me as much as i love him, i'll give that person the whole of my heart and try to love him. then i'll get over isaac. then i'll forget him then i'll be happy yet again.
yes. you'll still always be my pooh..

.

2005-01-05T22:05:00.000-08:00

okies yes! ahahs.. today was in skool at infinity lab for math. SO MA LU CANN. i was like using the com to look at blogs. then i went ta emi's one to tag. wahh laoo. so pai seh. there was no sound fer like the first 6-8mins. then suddenly! the song was so bloody loudly played la! i freaked out lor!! lolx. then all my frens oso got a shock la. HAHHA... so farnie. oh yeah. then erm after skool i went ta wendy's church place to studyy. something like jerico. erm. ya. nvm. no one knows wad i'm toking bout. lol. yes yes. funn. cos i played POOL. and beat a few guys? LOL. ok. so ego. anyway, yeah, enjoyed myself. and i was quite cheerful and noisy after which. huRRR. tried to do my homework. or shud i say holiday homework. lol. did like a bit. x.x yeah. umm.umm. yes yes. then today morning i gave pooh 9sms. LOL. i think i'm mad. but he didn't reply. i thot he didn't receive but oh yes he did. =/ bleah. anyway, then i went home and met tim and terrence at clubhouse. sat down for a brief chat then head home. yeapp. was chatting with emi and richmond. now with herman. hahas.. OH. i fergot to say. I GREW 1CM!! LOL! :)) kk. gonna go restt.. tata!!
let me bring you to the hospital and let the doctor do something bout ure wound. then let me take care of u for the rest of my life to make sure its fully healed. if thats what it takes. trust that i will be willing. i'm giving u a promise now, i'll do anything i can for u to forgive me. at least i try.if u want me to leave ure life forever. yes. i will try my best to. if u want some other girl, yes, i will try my best to help you, if that's wad u wan me to help u so that u'll forgive me.i just need you to be happy with or without me..
you'll always be my pooh..

=~

2005-01-04T15:07:00.000-08:00

oh dearr. just finish bathing. got home from school. aha. wah. i'm so gonna die.. i haven't complete so much hols homework and i got a chem test next week!my brain's like rusty already la. x.x hurr. sad. umm. nothing much today ba. mmm..was like smsing herman and ayu today in skool la. hahas.. herman's still so cute. heex! recalled sth tht happened. lolx! -zips- yup yup.. slept real late last nite. bleaughs. so tired now. hahas.. gonna eat then sleep. then wake up in the middle of the nite to do homework then bath and change into skool u when time's up. hahas.. oh yes.. the weather these few days are so coldd. take care all muh frens.. do wear sweater to keep ureself warm.. gonna turn in now.. tata.. :D
i know u hate me now. so i'm gonna fuck off ure life and forget you. i guess i should have never reply ure sms. i guess i shud have not fall for u. i guess i shud have never step into ure life. so sorry. i apologise. for being the bitch in ure life. i think for all these times, u never trusted me. i think i've never known u all these while. or maybe the person i used to love is gone. all i know is, u may look just like him but ure not him.
just forget me. forget you've ever known me.
i don't want to leave you. i regret to leave you. but i will cos i believe i'm not fated to be with you. i still feel hurt, i still feel pain cos i dun wanna let go. but do i have a choice? no. i'm not the one making the decision here. its you. and you've choose to ask me to go.
sorry kim my sweet. sorry. i can't keep my promise to you to wait for him. cos in the first place, he won't be back even though he said he would. hate me too if u wish. but i'm happy i've once know u this sister. appreciate u and ure sms alot. really. ((:
you'll always be my pooh...

bleahs.

2005-01-03T19:14:00.000-08:00

ooohh. hahs. haven been updating muh blog. weets. came back from shopping for new school bagg. yay. ((: its red. radio active.went out with wendy and char the two cheerful gurls. :D moohaha. so happy. yesterday went out with pooh bear, ayu and jia yan. went ta shop fer my new year clothes. bought a skirt and 3 tops. yeah yeah! lol. umm.. bought pooh gatsby face wash. lol. ate yoshi and watched love, so divine. was quite a crappy yet cute show. i wasn't touched by the show much but i cried. cos i could feel how the main actor was feeling, having to let go of someone he love. sighh. so sadd cans. hahas. oh wells. yes yes. i dunno him anymore. but still i think of him. i think he's so dumb to like someone who don't like him but oh well, who am i to comment? a stupid girl who loves someone who don't love me.? hurr. ay ay, school's stressing me out already. waking up so early is so tiring can. x.x hope muh hubby enjoyed herself at school and is not crying tonite again. :D hope i won't think bout him either. aha. OOHH. muh kim mei mei is back from china! -screams- i miss her loads. and she bought me something lorr!! so sweet!! love her. ahahahs.
if only the one you love is still me. if only i didn't let u go. i'll pray fer u silently that you'll be loved the way u wanna love another and i hope for u to be happy. i've locked my memories with you in a chamber deep in my heart and i threw the key to a far away place. i want to forget you.. and i hope i can.. i look up to the sky to hold back my tears and i look down to the ground to let my hair cover the tears i want to hide away..

>.=

2005-01-01T05:08:00.000-08:00

i didn't keep the promise to myself to forget you. i hope i can be the girl who can give u the love u wan to give. i'm going mad. over you..
after muh steamboat dinneh yesterday i went out. walked towards the bus stop.. rang tim up and asked him where he's going. he was at may. so went there to see him play pool fer a while. lol. he deproved. but it was nice watching the last game where he trashed someone else. hahas.. then headed to the bus stop. waited fer the bus to mrt station. then went to town. suppose to meet pooh bear first but didn't. so went to meet ying the great. LOL. she was looking at her tummy in the mirror with elisa. lol. girls girls... >.< then hang around with them for a while..headed to lido to meet pooh bear. saw his ex gf, joanne. sweet girl. umm.. walked around and ayu bought us ice cream. ahas. was so scared of the banglahs. z.z lucky pooh bear was around. then we headed to heeren highest floor. saw ying and peeps there. ahas. then headed to cine to meet meow meow, lion and big butt. LOL. hmm.. then then.. walked to meridian to find muh hubby. lmao. chilled at the food court then walked to cine. AGAIN. x.x wanted to get tix to watch meet da fockers. but no tix. lol. so went to play pool. saw hao there playing billard. ahahs. then saw pooh bear there too. he was unhappy. *heartache* after that hubby went ta big butt's house and meow went to lion's house. then me. SOBS. lol. i went to find ying and peeps at fishermen village. saw elisa's sister. nice gurl natallie. umm. was so cold there. darn windy. >.< slack there for the rest of the morning.. drank corona xtra. but tummy was feeling bad. then jia hao recognise some ex senior. crapped with those crazy guys. ahas. then took bus home. bleah. chatted with ying on the bus and was feeling nauseous. >.< reached home bout 8. didn't bath. just changed and pop to sleep. hahas.. then i started to think bout my pooh bear.. ((:
i don't want u to sulk. i want to bring happiness to you. i'm not afraid to tell u i love u and i want u. will u not be afraid to accept my love? i beg u to want me. cos i feel i will die for u. just to make sure u are alive and be around the world i live in..

2004-12-31T16:17:00.000-08:00

angel. hmm. wads with me and them? ahas. they are pretty. :D

:))

2004-12-31T13:20:00.000-08:00

ooohhs. last day of this unlucky year. >.< ahahs. happy new year to everyone!! wees! was woke up by tim today. ahas. he wanted me to accompany him to the doc and play pool. burrt. i dindn't wanted to climb out of bed and get scolded by mommy. so i told him i can't. waha. washed the toilet again. hmm. came online to fix my blog. the song. blardy hell. lolx. gonna go out with emi and buds later. but meeting ZAC first. *ahems* i didn't say the ugly name aiights. :D after 12pm today i will forget him. a promise to myself to end my misery. aww. :x doesn't realleh matter anyways. hmms.. hope my tag board can get fixed. -shrugs- oh wells. shall update again tmr. ^-^ takkaires all. love ya all! happy happy new year!!!!! may all ure wishes come true. moohahah..
i wish i can tell u how much i want you. but its pointless. i hope u'll be happy. really. u must be happy. `tears keep flowing down my cheeks. i don't know how to stop them..

x.X

2004-12-30T18:36:00.000-08:00

omg. i've been trying to make my blog the whole afternoon. zzz. but still i can't. SOBS. lucky got midge to help. muahas. thanks alot dear. love ya. anyways, my tagboard is still under construction. so... tag if u know how. waha. gotta find the bos among the hidden black background. X.x woke up pretty early today. 10++. washed the toilet and help mummy to clear up the shoes in the store room. then cleared the blankets and bed sheets in the cupboard in her room. ahas. giving those that we can to the red cross. or wadever. those who need them. they're so poor thing. bleahs. see their own relatives getting flushed away by the waves. sighh. so happy i'm in singapore with my family and frens. ahas. WEE. can't wait for tmr. ^^ new year's coming. and a new start fer me. gotta study real hard and forget him so i won't cry at nite fer him. anyways, i'm officially emi's wife on 29.12.04 MUAHA.jealous? yay. :D dunnoes wads my plans fer tmr. most likely going out with emi. so i can mit him up to pass him the dumb letter i wrote crying one nite. ooohhs. gotta bath. haven bath the whole day. LMAO. i stink. >.< will write again. heex. ((:

its hard to leave u. but i gotta try to. cos i know u don't like me anymore.

2004-12-30T03:13:00.000-08:00

i like anime. i aspire to be like her. so beautifool. :D